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                         L'CHAIM - ISSUE # 805
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                           Copyright (c) 2004
                 Lubavitch Youth Organization - L.Y.O.
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             THE WEEKLY PUBLICATION FOR EVERY JEWISH PERSON
   Dedicated to the memory of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson N.E.
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        January 30, 2004           Bo             7 Shevat, 5764
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                       What Makes a True Leader?

With so many people purporting to be leaders these days, how do we
recognize a true leader? To answer that question, we must step back and
ask: What is it that a leader is really trying to accomplish?

A true leader wants nothing more than to make people stand on their own,
as leaders in their own right. Instead of trying to blind us with his or
her brilliance, a true leader reflects our own light back to us, so that
we may see ourselves anew.

Moses was the quintessential leader. He kept watch as thousands of sheep
grazed, yet noticed when one sheep was missing and went off to look for
it.

When G-d saw this, He had proof that Moses was a man of reason, empathy
and selfless devotion, a man truly worthy to lead His people.

In our secular society, we tend to think of a leader as a person who is
well-connected, who is powerful or charismatic or wealthy. We judge our
leaders by what they have. But a true leader should be judged by what he
has not - ego, arrogance, and self-interest.  A true leader sees his
work as selfless service toward a higher purpose. As the sages say,
"Leadership is not power and dominance; it is servitude." This does not
mean that a leader is weak; he derives great strength from his
dedication to a purpose that is greater than himself.

Each generation has its Moses, a leader who inspires absolute trust, who
is totally dedicated to fulfilling his unique role. He understands and
appreciates each person's role in perfecting this world, and guides him
or her accordingly; he rises above any individual perspective to take a
global view, seeing how each person and issue fits into the entire
scheme of the contemporary world.

A true leader shakes people from their reverie and tells them, "No, you
don't need to live a life of desperation and confusion. Yes, you do have
the ability to find meaning in your life, and the unique skills to
fulfill that meaning. You are an important link in a chain of
generations past; you have a legacy worth preserving and a future worth
fighting for.

A true leader shows us that our world is indeed heading somewhere and
that we control its movement. That we need not be at the mercy of
personal prejudices or the prevailing political wind. That none of us
are subservient to history or nature - that we are history and nature.
That we can rid the world of war and hate and ignorance, and obliterate
the borders separating race from race, rich from poor.

A true leader does not want followers; he wants to teach others how to
be leaders. He does not want control; he wants the truth. He does not
impose his leadership on others, nor does he take away anyone's
autonomy. He inspires by love, not coercion. He is so passionate about
your welfare that when you consult him for guidance, it is like coming
face to face with yourself for the first time.

A true leader is a living example of his teachings. When we see that a
leader's personal life embodies his philosophy, we too are inspired to
learn that philosophy.

It is useless for a leader to be a visionary in the abstract; he must be
a successful communicator whose vision can be translated into specific,
applicable principles - not knowledge for the sake of knowledge, but
knowledge that can actually help improve the world.

So a leader must be many things - selfless, devoted, visionary,
courageous, and above all, humble.  When G-d chose Moses to lead His
people out of bondage in Egypt, Moses replied, "Who am I, that I should
go unto Pharaoh?" (Ex. 3:12). Indeed, "Moses was humbler than any man on
the face of the Earth" (Num. 12:3).

We must recognize the characteristics of a leader - not only so we can
weed out the demagogues, but so we can freely embrace a true leader when
he does emerge. When people sincerely believe in a leader, they rise
above their petty self-concerns. They become eager to accept his
direction and input, and are inspired to accomplish far more than they
could have on their own.

By recognizing the characteristics of a true leader, we set a standard
for our leaders and, more important, for ourselves. Setting your sights
on the summit, even when you have yet to arrive there, is the surest way
of completing the journey.

        Excerpted from Toward a Meaningful Life - The Wisdom of the
                 Rebbe, by Rabbi Simon Jacobson, meaningfullife.com

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           LIVING WITH THE REBBE  -  THE WEEKLY TORAH PORTION
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At the close of this week's Torah portion, Bo, the Torah relates how the
oppression and suffering of the Israelites in Egypt reached its height.
So intense was the suffering of the Hebrews that Moses felt constrained
to exclaim to G-d: "Why have You dealt badly toward this people... and
You have not delivered Your people." Even Moses, who was utterly devoted
and faithful to G-d, could find no explanation for the extreme misery
and darkness of the Exile. Soon, however a most remarkable turn of
events took place. Immediately after this darkest hour of the Egyptian
exile, the process of the redemption was set in motion by G-d. When all
hope seemed to have been lost, precisely then did the first rays of hope
begin to shine for the Jews.

It is a well-known fact that the darkest part of the night is just
before dawn. Our Sages compare exile to night. So too, when the night of
the Egyptian exile seemed blackest, when the suffering of the Jews
reached such a degree that even Moses complained "Why have You dealt
badly...," it was then that the rays of deliverance began to shine.

The Talmud states that while the other nations of the earth calculate
the yearly cycle according to the rotation of the sun, the Jewish People
base their calendar on the rotation of the moon. For the Jews are
likened to the moon, whose light wanes and diminishes, and finally seems
to disappear. But it is precisely at that point that the new moon is
born, and begins to grow steadily. Jewish history throughout the ages
reflects the 'lunar cycle.' In the Egyptian exile, after reaching the
lowest depths of oppression, when the long night of exile seemed at its
very darkest, it was then that the deliverance and renewal of hope
began. Such was the case in each subsequent exile.

There is much inspiration and encouragement to be derived from the
above. There are times in one's life when it seems that the "wheel of
fortune" has reached the lowest point of its cycle for him. It appears
to him that his situation is beyond hope. Yet he should not lose faith
and fall into despair, but should bear in mind that the darkest hour of
exile - of our people as a whole, as well as, the 'exile' of each
individual - comes just before the start of the redemption.

                   Adapted from the works of the Lubavitcher Rebbe.

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                             SLICE OF LIFE
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                       A Wedding and a Holy Book
                          by Fay Kranz Greene

The city was hot and sweltering on that summer eve in 1989. The Chabad
rabbi looked incongruously out of place in Manhattan's East Village,
with his long beard and black coat.

Nevertheless, the Chabad rabbi was determined. He had made a promise to
a grieving father in Southern California, a man who was a leader in
their Jewish community, that he would find his runaway teenage daughter.
"Sarah is in New York City, that's all we know, can you find her for
me?" the man had begged the rabbi during a recent visit.

Mission impossible? Not for the rabbi. With a lot of effort and a little
bit of mazel, he finally found someone who recognized Sarah's picture
and he was able to track her to an urban commune.

He invited her to come to his home for a Shabbat meal. She not only came
but returned many times and began finding her way back to Judaism. After
a while, she met a young man from Israel, who was also rediscovering
Judaism.

"We want you to marry us," Sarah told the rabbi.

The father of the bride was delighted beyond belief, but the father of
the groom less so. He was a holocaust survivor from a rabbinical family,
but his experiences during the war had so alienated him from his faith
that he had raised his children in a humanistic ethicism, completely
devoid of spirituality or mention of G-d.

The father made his son promise that he would not be asked to recite any
blessings or prayers either at the ceremony or during the reception.
Only on this condition would he attend the wedding.

On the morning of the wedding, the rabbi wrote a note to the Lubavitcher
Rebbe, to inform him about the marriage and to ask for a blessing for
the bride and groom.

The Rebbe, upon receiving the note, put it together with hundreds of
others that he would read aloud that day at the "Ohel,"  the resting
place of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe.

On this day, upon reading the note from the rabbi, the Rebbe wrote a few
words on a paper and directed that it be given immediately to the rabbi.

The Rebbe had written that today's date, the date that the young couple
chose for their wedding,  was the 14th of Kislev, the same day on which
the Rebbe and Rebbetzin were married decades earlier. The note explained
that the groom's grandfather was a Rabbi in Warsaw and had attended the
Rebbe's wedding. As a wedding present the rabbi had given them a book
that he had written. The Rebbe directed the Chabad rabbi to go to the
Rebbe's office, find the book, and take it to the chupa that evening."

Of course, the rabbi did exactly as the Rebbe had instructed. Just
before the ceremony, the bride asked the rabbi to say a few words. The
rabbi decided to tell the story about the book he was carrying.

He related how the Rebbe had asked that the book be at the chupa and
explained that through the presence of the book the groom's grandfather,
the former rabbi from Warsaw, would be spiritually represented at the
wedding of his grandson, a grandson from whom he now has so much nachas.

Upon hearing these words, the father of the groom abruptly stood up and
quickly left the room. The rabbi found him, a few minutes later, weeping
quietly in a phone booth in the lobby of the hotel.

"Rabbi," he sobbed "when I was a child, my father took me to Cheder,
where I loved studying,  but I forgot everything. I wanted to forget. I
made myself forget. Now I see that my father never gave up on me, even
from Heaven. Won't you take me by the hand and teach me again?"

Thus ends the story of a Jewish soul who thought he had forgotten, until
the Rebbe reminded him. But the story has ripples that turned into waves
and washed over Jack Castro in Boca Raton, Florida.

Jack Castro's story begins in the small, picturesque city of Solanika,
Greece. Salonika  was home to more than 60,000 proud Sephardic Jews,
among them Moshe Prado, before the nazis decimated their numbers to a
pitiful one thousand.

It had been Moshe Prado's custom that as each of his children were
married, he gave them a set of High Holiday prayerbooks, hand-carved in
ivory. Moshe Prado did not survive the war, nor did his children except
one daughter and one son, Jack's father.

Jack Castro ended up with one of the High Holiday prayerbooks. "My aunt
gave me that book years ago," says Jack. "I sadly never met my
grandfather, but I had one of his books in my possession for many many
years without really thinking about its value."

Jack was born in Paris, grew up in Argentina and emigrated to the United
States in 1965. He and his wife Graciela have two children and two
grandchildren. About fifteen years ago, they moved to Boca Raton where
Jack is the president of a software company.

A few years ago, Jack had a surprise call from an old childhood friend
in Argentina, a friend with whom he had kept in close contact all these
years.

"He told me that his daughter Julie and her boyfriend were coming to
Miami and could I show them around," said Jack. Of course he readily
agreed and promised to pick them up at the airport.

The day their plane was due however, Jack had an important meeting and
he asked his son Spencer to pick them up instead. As it turned out,
Julie's boyfriend had to return to Argentina, so when Spencer got to the
airport, Julie was alone.

Yes, you guessed it, the meeting was "bashert."

"Spencer picked Julie up at the airport in Miami," said Jack  "and by
the time they reached our home in Boca they had really connected."

Two months later, the young couple had a civil marriage. They planned to
have a Jewish wedding in Argentina. But the economic crisis was already
threatening and Julie's parents soon moved to Florida. Now that the
whole family was together, the plans for a Jewish chupa began in
earnest.

"Although we are a traditional family" said Jack, "we did not belong to
any synagogue and didn't know where to find a small one that would
please the children. A friend suggested that we look into Chabad of East
Boca that had recently opened."

Jack and his family set up a meeting and he recalls that "just like with
the children, it was love at first sight. We all liked Rabbi Ruvi and
Ahuva New and their family and we set a date for the wedding. We even
began attending Shabbat services."

At one Shabbat dinner at the New home, Rabbi New told the Castros the
aforementioned story about the book at the wedding.

"I have a book that belonged to my grandfather, too." Jack told the
rabbi about the prayerbook and decided to bring it to the wedding of his
son.

And what a wedding it was. "We were expecting a simple ceremony, but
Rabbi New had other plans. He brought a CD of Jewish wedding music and
turned it into a real simcha."

Jack Castro and his family are now regular participants at Shabbat
services. "My son loves to go to the synagogue now," he says proudly "we
are all rediscovering our Judaism."

The Rebbe's wedding long ago in Warsaw, a prayerbook in Salonika, a note
from the Rebbe and two grandfathers look on proudly from above as their
descendants add another link in the chain of Jewish tradition.  Mazel
Tov.

                  This article first appeared in InsideOut Magazine

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                            THE REBBE WRITES
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    These letters, freely translated into English, were written by the
    Rebbe during the lifetime of the Previous Rebbe.

                         22 Teves, 5708 [1948]

Greetings and blessings,

I heard that you returned from your visit to Europe. I hope that it was
fruitful in all areas. I am happy to send you a copy of Sefer
HaZichronos (Memoirs) from my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe Shlita.
If you desire to receive more copies, let us know and we will send them
to you.

To add several words with regard to the significance of the Memoirs: In
the Torah, every detail contains great importance. Indeed, even the
sequence of the Torah teaches us much.

The word "Torah" relates to the word "horoah," meaning "instruction."
Implied is that the Torah is not a book of stories, but rather a text
which teaches. The order of the Torah is that Bereishis (Genesis) comes
first, and then Shmos (Exodus), Vayikra (Leviticus), and the others. The
reason for this is not merely that this was the chronological order in
which these events took place. That would be sufficient for a history
book, but not for a book which is intended to chart a path for our
lives.

In addition, and perhaps this is most fundamental, the reason is that
this reflects the pattern of instruction through which an individual, a
community, and an entire nation structure their lives.

Such a pattern of instruction does not begin with positive commandments
and negative commandments. Instead, it relates and presents real-life
examples of indivi-duals and entire generations, ancestors, relatives,
and just ordinary people who lived in the desired pattern of life. They
"cleared the path," providing a clear example of how we should lead such
a life, how we can overcome different challenges that arise, and that
this alone is the correct path in life.

Only afterwards come the directives - arise and do, abide and refrain
from acting - as an almost self-understood conclusion from the previous
examples of life experience.

The importance of the Memoirs is of a similar vein. The primary intent
was not meant to be - however important that goal is - telling the life
history of so-and-so and so-and-so, in order that we know the history or
the personalities of the previous generations.

Instead, the primary intent is to show a living example of how a Jew - a
rabbi, a student, a merchant, a craftsman, or a beggar, each one in his
own field a prominent Jew - carried out his life.

This will point out the proper direction for our times and make it
easier to overcome the difficulties that are connected with proceeding
in that path.

To conclude by again expressing a heartfelt yasher koach for your great
efforts in this important endeavor.

With appreciation and greetings,

                                *  *  *


                         26 Shvat, 5708 [1948]


Greetings and blessings,

...With regard to the conclusion of your letter (which came as a
response to my words that one must extend himself and filter through to
a colleague): "What can one do if he is enclosed in his room? How can he
be taken out of his locust skin?" In that context, my revered
father-in-law, the Rebbe Shlita, wrote in one of his letters (quoting
his father): "When a lantern is kindled, all those who seek light
gravitate to it."

To focus on his wording: He employed the term chafeitzim (translated as
"seek"). Chafeitz, in contrast to rotzeh, refers to inner will and
desire... The inner desire of every Jew is perfectly bound with G-d and
His Torah, the Torah of light. As is well known, proof of this concept
can be seen from the law governing a bill of divorce given under
compulsion, as Maimonides writes in the conclusion of ch. 2 of Hilchos
Gerushin.

With regard to your statement that perhaps the oil does not shine within
himself because it is rancid: Rancid oil also permeates and it also
sheds light. It is only that its light is not that bright. Obviously, it
takes one out of darkness and can also be considered as kindling a
light, as obvious from the Talmud and the halachic author-ities and as
can be seen in actual fact.

In general, of what value is it for you to write such statements if it
does not bring about an advance in Torah, Divine service, or deeds of
kindness? And if it prevents such service, it is forbidden.

Every person is an emissary sent to his place by Divine providence. He
need only begin acting to fulfill his mission and he will certainly be
successful. Moreover, it will lead to both spiritual and material
well-being.

With wishes for success and for everlasting good in all matters,

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                            RAMBAM THIS WEEK
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9 Shevat, 5764 - February 1, 2004

Prohibition 187: It is forbidden to eat meat and milk together

This mitzva is based on the verse (Ex. 34:26) "You shall not boil a kid
in the milk of its mother"

This prohibition forbids us to eat meat and dairy food together.

Prohibition 186: It is forbidden to cook meat and milk together

This mitzva is based on the verse (Ex. 23:19) "You shall not boil a kid
in milk of its mother" This prohibition forbids us to cook meat and
dairy foods together.

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                        A WORD FROM THE DIRECTOR
                         Rabbi Shmuel M. Butman
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This coming Monday, Yud Shevat (February 2 this year) is the anniversary
of the passing of the Previous Lubavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Yosef Y.
Schneersohn, and the ascension to leadership of his son-in-law, the
Rebbe.

On the day of his official acceptance of leadership of Chabad-Lubavitch,
the Rebbe, in a straightforward manner, set the rules as to how his
leadership would proceed.

The Rebbe placed upon every person the responsibility for the task of
bringing Moshiach. He made it clear that people should not expect to sit
back and let the Rebbe do all the work in bringing about the realization
of the dreams and aspirations of the Jewish people for all times, the
revelation of Moshiach and the Redemption.

"Action is the essential thing" has been the Rebbe's motto from the
beginning. The Rebbe dealt with the effect of the Previous Rebbe's
passing in his unique way: "A certain chasid wrote me that since the
histalkus [passing] he is very brokenhearted, and sometimes, when he is
alone, he breaks into tears.

"The question remains, however: What did he accomplish by his weeping?
Is this the Rebbe's intention -- that he wants him to cry?! It is almost
certain that his tears accomplish nothing... In the meantime, however,
the work of fulfilling the mission given by the Rebbe is not being
done!...

"By his lack of action the above-mentioned individual is (G-d forbid)
delaying the Redemption; delaying the Holy One, blessed be He; delaying
the Rebbe -- and because of this the Jewish people are being detained in
exile one moment longer!"

The Rebbe conveyed to us as well, in the above-mentioned talk, that
nothing had changed regarding the instructions and orders of the
Previous Rebbe: "The mission with which the Rebbe has entrusted us must
be carried out without taking anything else into consideration.... One
should conduct himself like a truly humble person, who is strong in his
convictions and allows nothing to distract him."

May we immediately see the fulfillment of our generation's mission: the
complete Redemption with the Rebbe leading us.

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                          THOUGHTS THAT COUNT
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For I have hardened his heart. (Ex. 10:1)

Pharaoh's evil decrees and the trials and tribulations of the Jews
during the Egyptian exile did not come about because Pharaoh had so
decided of his own accord. Rather, G-d hardened Pharaoh's heart,
eventually causing all of His wonders and miracles to be revealed. The
lesson we can learn from this is that everything comes from G-d; when a
Jew encounters something that prevents him from properly serving G-d,
this is meant only as a test, whose purpose is to awaken the powers
hidden within the person's soul. When the person overcomes this test,
and perseveres in his holy mission in life, he is then rescued from all
difficulties.

                                            (The Lubavitcher Rebbe)


Tell in the ears of your son and your son's son... that you may know
that I am the L-rd. (Ex. 10:2)

In order to implant faith in the heart of one's children, there first
needs to be "that you may know that I am the L-rd" - you yourselves must
believe in and know G-d.

                                           (Rabbi Yehoshua Rokeach)


For I will go through the land of Egypt that night (Ex. 12:12)

The redemption from Egypt didn't come through an angel or a G-dly
messenger. G-d Himself had to take the Children of Israel out of Egypt.
They had become so steeped in the decadence and impurities of Egypt that
only G-d, in all of His glory and might, could take them out of there.

                                (Rabbi Sholom Dov Ber of Lubavitch)


Remember this day as the time you went out of Egypt. (Ex. 13:3)

There are those who ask why we consider the Exodus from Egypt to be of
such central importance since after the Exodus the Jews were again
enslaved under various nations and suffered at the hands of many
dictators. The uniqueness of this first Exodus was that it fundamentally
changed the character of the Jewish People to their very core. After
being freed from slavery in Egypt, we became free people within our
souls, even if later we were to again be under the yoke of the gentiles.
The Exodus from Egypt terminated the possibility of a Jew being a real
slave, because his essence is that of a free person.

                                            (The Maharal of Prague)

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                            IT ONCE HAPPENED
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Rabbi Leibel Groner, a member of the Lubavitcher Rebbe's secretariat,
related about the Rebbe:

I heard the following from a chasid who is not a Lubavitcher about an
incident that happened to his brother. One morning, when the brother
came into the kitchen, he saw a dollar bill on the floor. He picked it
up and noticed that on it was written, in English, that the dollar had
been received from the Lubavitcher Rebbe. The man asked his wife if she
knew anything about the dollar and she explained that she had received
it as part of her change in a local store and it must have fallen out of
her wallet. This chasid had never received a dollar from the Rebbe
(during the Rebbe's distribution of dollars on Sundays for over a
decade). Still and all he felt that if a dollar from the Rebbe had come
into his possession, he should save it and not spend it. He placed the
dollar in his pocket and left to pray the morning service in his
synagogue.

After services, a visitor from Israel announced that he was collecting
for a worthy cause in Israel. Everyone gave the rabbi a donation. He
then made an impassioned plea that if everyone present would each donate
just one more dollar, it would be of great help. The chasid went to take
money out of his pocket but the only other dollar he could find was the
dollar from the Rebbe. Should he give it to the man for charity? Until
now he had never possessed a dollar from the Rebbe and he wanted to keep
it. On the other hand, when the Rebbe gave out dollars, he gave them
with the intent that they should be given to charity, or "redeemed" by
giving one's own personal money instead. The chasid decided that he
should give the dollar from the Rebbe to the man.

When the Israeli took the dollar, he asked the chasid to explain to him
what was written in English on the dollar bill. The chasid read and
translated that it was a dollar from the Lubavitcher Rebbe and the man
went pale. After he regained his composure, he told the chasid: "Every
time I used to come to America to raise money for my organization in
Israel, I would always go the "770" on Sunday and ask the Lubavitcher
Rebbe for a blessing that my efforts would be successful. The Rebbe
would respond with a blessing as well as with a dollar designated as
'shaliach mitzva gelt' (money to be given to charity upon reaching my
destination, in keeping with the dictum that one who is going to do a
mitzva will arrive safely). When I arrived in New York this trip, I went
to the Ohel (the Rebbe's resting place) and asked for a blessing. In
addition, I told the Rebbe that I had complete faith that on this visit,
as well, the Rebbe would make sure that I received shaliach mitzvah gelt
before I returned to Israel. And here it is!"

The chasid immediately told everyone in the shul what had just happened
and they were all amazed and awed by the chain of events: the chasid's
wife received a dollar from the Rebbe as change in a store, intended to
use it but it fell out of her wallet; her husband came into the kitchen
before her and discovered the dollar and decided to keep it; he took it
with him to shul on exactly the day that this Israeli was collecting
charity in his shul; on this particular day, the only other dollar the
chasid had with him was this dollar from the Rebbe, that had surely been
intended for the Israeli all along.

Rabbi Groner relates that he heard the following story from his nephew
who heard it from the father of the boy involved.

A yeshiva student from the United States is studying in Israel this
year. His father had to go to Israel on business for a week. The father
made up to meet his son each evening for dinner. On Monday, Tuesday and
Wednesday they met for dinner at the designated restaurant at 7 p.m. As
evening approached on Thursday, the father realized that he would not be
able to get to the restaurant in time. He found out that there was a
hotel with reliable kosher supervision near where he was and phoned his
son to meet him there.

Soon after they arrived at the hotel restaurant, they saw a groom being
escorted to his chupa. The son was shocked when he looked and saw who
who the groom was. "Abba, do you know that it is -'s wedding!" the son
said, and then he ran into the hall.

A little while later the son came back out and told his father what had
happened. The groom had been the son's best friend from the ages of
3-18. When they were 18 years old, the groom moved with his family to
Israel and the two best friends lost all contact.

A week before the wedding, the groom was in the United States and
visited the Ohel. Among other things, the groom told the Rebbe that
having his friend at his wedding would truly make his simcha complete.
He also had a "feeling" that his friend was studying in a yeshiva in
Israel though he had no idea where or how to contact him, or even if
that feeling was true. He asked that the Rebbe find a way to bring his
friend to the wedding! When the son went over to wish the groom "mazel
tov" and to dance with him, the groom told the son all of this which he
now related to his father.

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                            MOSHIACH MATTERS
*********************************************************************
In Egypt, the Egyptians did not prevent the Jews from sacrificing the
Passover lamb. Indeed, the Egyptians actually lent the Jews their own
silver and gold vessels to enhance the Jews' G-dly service. So it shall
be for us. Through our own self-sacrifice, those who were previously
opposed to us will become our protectors and supporters, and together we
will merit the final redemption, may it come speedily in our days.

                                            (The Lubavitcher Rebbe)

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                  END OF TEXT - L'CHAIM 805 - Bo 5764
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